_5 October._--We all rose early, and I think that sleep did much for
each and all of us. When we met at early breakfast there was more
general cheerfulness than any of us had ever expected to experience
again.
It is really wonderful how much resilience there is in human nature. Let
any obstructing cause, no matter what, be removed in any way--even by
death--and we fly back to first principles of hope and enjoyment. More
than once as we sat around the table, my eyes opened in wonder whether
the whole of the past days had not been a dream. It was only when I
caught sight of the red blotch on Mrs. Harker s forehead that I was
brought back to reality. Even now, when I am gravely revolving the
matter, it is almost impossible to realise that the cause of all our
trouble is still existent. Even Mrs. Harker seems to lose sight of her
trouble for whole spells; it is only now and again, when something
recalls it to her mind, that she thinks of her terrible scar. We are to
meet here in my study in half an hour and decide on our course of
action. I see only one immediate difficulty, I know it by instinct
rather than reason: we shall all have to speak frankly; and yet I fear
that in some mysterious way poor Mrs. Harker s tongue is tied. I _know_
that she forms conclusions of her own, and from all that has been I can
guess how brilliant and how true they must be; but she will not, or
cannot, give them utterance. I have mentioned this to Van Helsing, and
he and I are to talk it over when we are alone. I suppose it is some of
that horrid poison which has got into her veins beginning to work. The
Count had his own purposes when he gave her what Van Helsing called the
Vampire s baptism of blood. Well, there may be a poison that distils
itself out of good things; in an age when the existence of ptomaines is
a mystery we should not wonder at anything! One thing I know: that if my
instinct be true regarding poor Mrs. Harker s silences, then there is a
terrible difficulty--an unknown danger--in the work before us. The same
power that compels her silence may compel her speech. I dare not think
further; for so I should in my thoughts dishonour a noble woman!
Van Helsing is coming to my study a little before the others. I shall
try to open the subject with him.
* * * * *
_Later._--When the Professor came in, we talked over the state of
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