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Dracula

Page 226 of 387, printed 226

You helped to attend dear Lucy at the end. Let me hear how she died; for all that I know of her, I shall be very grateful. She was very, very dear to me. To my surprise, he answered, with a horrorstruck look in his face:-- Tell you of her death? Not for the wide world! Why not? I asked, for some grave, terrible feeling was coming over me. Again he paused, and I could see that he was trying to invent an excuse. At length he stammered out:-- You see, I do not know how to pick out any particular part of the diary. Even while he was speaking an idea dawned upon him, and he said with unconscious simplicity, in a different voice, and with the naivete of a child: That s quite true, upon my honour. Honest Indian! I could not but smile, at which he grimaced. I gave myself away that time! he said. But do you know that, although I have kept the diary for months past, it never once struck me how I was going to find any particular part of it in case I wanted to look it up? By this time my mind was made up that the diary of a doctor who attended Lucy might have something to add to the sum of our knowledge of that terrible Being, and I said boldly:-- Then, Dr. Seward, you had better let me copy it out for you on my typewriter. He grew to a positively deathly pallor as he said:-- No! no! no! For all the world, I wouldn t let you know that terrible story! Then it was terrible; my intuition was right! For a moment I thought, and as my eyes ranged the room, unconsciously looking for something or some opportunity to aid me, they lit on a great batch of typewriting on the table. His eyes caught the look in mine, and, without his thinking, followed their direction. As they saw the parcel he realised my meaning. You do not know me, I said. When you have read those papers--my own diary and my husband s also, which I have typed--you will know me better. I have not faltered in giving every thought of my own heart in 226
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